Post by Andromeda on Feb 1, 2008 15:44:43 GMT -5
My friend e-mailed these to my, and I thought you guys might enjoy them...
WARNING!!!
Some Americans just need a little help..........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.
Windex
Do not spray in eyes.
Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.
Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.
Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended
that either be permitted to drink from toilet.
Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products
Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited
under certain circumstances.
Baby Oil
Keep out of reach of children
Little Ones Baby Lotion
Keep away from children
Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.
Wet-Nap
Directions: Tear open packet and use.
Dial Soap
Directions: Use like regular soap.
Stridex Foaming Face Wash
May contain foam.
Hairdryer:
Do not use while taking a
shower.
Hairdryer:
Do not use while taking a
shower.
Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
Use only on underarms.
Zantac 75
Do not take if allergic to zantac.
Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness
Christmas Lights
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.
Bic Lighter
Ignite lighter away from face.
Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark
Fire Extinguisher:
Caution: Non-Flamable
Earplugs
These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if
caught in windpipe
Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow
Matches
Caution: Contents may catch fire.
Pepper Spray
Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.
Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor
Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield
before starting ignition.
Fix-a-Flat
WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.
Rain Gauge
Suitable for outdoor use.
RCA Television Remote Control
Not Dishwasher Safe
Pine Mountain Fire Logs
Caution: Risk of fire
Triops Fish Food
Warning: Not for human consumption
Home Depot Treated Lumber
Do not consume
Hair Dryer
Warning: Do not use while sleeping.
Road Sign
Caution water on road during rain.
Camera
This camera will only work when film is inside.
Road Sign
Cemetery Road. Dead End
Church Parking Lot Sign
Thou shalt not park
Children's Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
Silk Soy Milk
Shake well and buy often
Air Conditioner
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.
Rowenta Iron
Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.
Slush Puppy Cup
This ice may be cold
American Airlines Peanuts
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
Nabisco Easy Cheese
For best results, remove cap.
Swanson TV Dinners
This product must be cooked before eating.
Hershey's Almond Bar
Warning: May contain traces of nuts
Heinz Ketchup
Instructions: Put on food
500-piece puzzle:
Some assembly required.
Beach Ball
CAUTION: It is not a life saving device.
Chainsaw
Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.
Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
Bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
Bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
Hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
Packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
String of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children
Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you
New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.
Blanket from taiwan:
not to be used as protection from a tornado
Cardboard windshield sun shade:
Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.
Infant's bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.
Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.
Disposable razor:
Do not use this product during an earthquake.
Bottle of shampoo for dogs
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.
Curling Iron
Warning: This product can burn eyes.
Hair Dryer
Do not use in shower.
Hair Dryer
Do not use while sleeping.
Hand-held Massaging Device
Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.
Case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
Do not place this product into any electronic equipment.
A toilet at a public sports facility
Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.
Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
Container of Underarm Deodorant.
Caution: Do not spray in eyes.
Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter.
Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.
Toner cartridge for a laser printer
Do not eat toner.
13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow
Not intended for highway use.
Can of self-defense pepper spray.
May irritate eyes.
Novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock"
Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.
A frisbee
Warning: May contain small parts.
A toilet bowl cleaning brush.
Do not use orally.
A birthday card for a 1 year old.
Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.
Heated seat cushion
Warning: Do not use on eyes.
Microwave Oven:
Do not use for drying pets.
Electric Cattle Prod
For use on animals only.
Can of air freshener.
For use by trained personnel only.
Silly Putty
Do not use as ear plugs.
Knife sharpening stone
Warning: knives are sharp!
Deodorant
Do not use intimately.
Rat Poison
Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.
Portable stroller
Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.
Dashboard of a mail truck
Look before driving.
Children's cough medicine
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Sign at a railroad station
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death.
Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
Bottom of a supermarket dessert box
Do not turn upside down.
Package of dice.
Not for human consumption.
Bottled Drink:
Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.
Shipment of hammers
May be harmful if swallowed.
Manual for an SGI computer.
Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.
Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle
Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.
Electric Thermometer.
Do not use orally after using rectally.
Packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
Turn off motor before using this product.
6x10 inch inflatable picture frame
Not to be used as a personal flotation device.
Box of bottle rockets
Do not put in mouth.
Wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack
Remove plastic before eating.
Box for a car jack
For lifting purposes only.
Instructions for a cordless phone:
Do not put lit candles on phone.
Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean
Do not drive cars in ocean.
Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing"
at a concert
Always drive on roads. Not on people.
Bus Stop
No stopping or standing.
Church Sign
These rows reserved for parents with children.
Bag of Fritos
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
Credit card statement.
Payment is due by the due date.
Laundromat triple washer
No small children.
Sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building
Take care: new non-slip surface.
Box of Pills
Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone.
Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
Can of black pepper.
Instructions: usage known.
Bag of cat biscuits
Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants.
Car Manual
In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then
close doors.
WARNING!!!
Some Americans just need a little help..........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Liquid Plummer
Warning: Do not reuse the bottle to store beverages.
Windex
Do not spray in eyes.
Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.
Dremel Electric Rotary Tool
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.
Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.
Bowl Fresh
Safe to use around pets and children, although it is not recommended
that either be permitted to drink from toilet.
Endust Duster
This product is not defined as flammable by the Consumer Products
Safety Commision Regulations. However, this product can be ignited
under certain circumstances.
Baby Oil
Keep out of reach of children
Little Ones Baby Lotion
Keep away from children
Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.
Wet-Nap
Directions: Tear open packet and use.
Dial Soap
Directions: Use like regular soap.
Stridex Foaming Face Wash
May contain foam.
Hairdryer:
Do not use while taking a
shower.
Hairdryer:
Do not use while taking a
shower.
Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
Use only on underarms.
Zantac 75
Do not take if allergic to zantac.
Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness
Christmas Lights
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.
Bic Lighter
Ignite lighter away from face.
Komatsu Floodlight
This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark
Fire Extinguisher:
Caution: Non-Flamable
Earplugs
These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if
caught in windpipe
Mattress
Warning: Do not attempt to swallow
Matches
Caution: Contents may catch fire.
Pepper Spray
Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.
Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor
Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield
before starting ignition.
Fix-a-Flat
WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.
Rain Gauge
Suitable for outdoor use.
RCA Television Remote Control
Not Dishwasher Safe
Pine Mountain Fire Logs
Caution: Risk of fire
Triops Fish Food
Warning: Not for human consumption
Home Depot Treated Lumber
Do not consume
Hair Dryer
Warning: Do not use while sleeping.
Road Sign
Caution water on road during rain.
Camera
This camera will only work when film is inside.
Road Sign
Cemetery Road. Dead End
Church Parking Lot Sign
Thou shalt not park
Children's Superman Costume
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.
Silk Soy Milk
Shake well and buy often
Air Conditioner
Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.
Rowenta Iron
Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.
Slush Puppy Cup
This ice may be cold
American Airlines Peanuts
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
Nabisco Easy Cheese
For best results, remove cap.
Swanson TV Dinners
This product must be cooked before eating.
Hershey's Almond Bar
Warning: May contain traces of nuts
Heinz Ketchup
Instructions: Put on food
500-piece puzzle:
Some assembly required.
Beach Ball
CAUTION: It is not a life saving device.
Chainsaw
Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.
Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.
Bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
Bar of Dial soap:
Directions: Use like regular soap.
Swann frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: Defrost.
Hotel provided shower cap in a box:
Fits one head.
Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)
Do not turn upside down.
Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.
Packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.
Boot's Children's cough medicine:
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.
String of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.
Japanese food processor:
Not to be used for the other use.
Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.
American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.
Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children
Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists:
Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you
New Zealand insect spray:
This product not tested on animals.
Blanket from taiwan:
not to be used as protection from a tornado
Cardboard windshield sun shade:
Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.
Infant's bathtub:
Do not throw baby out with bath water.
Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:
Not meant as substitute for human companionship.
Disposable razor:
Do not use this product during an earthquake.
Bottle of shampoo for dogs
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.
Curling Iron
Warning: This product can burn eyes.
Hair Dryer
Do not use in shower.
Hair Dryer
Do not use while sleeping.
Hand-held Massaging Device
Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.
Case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.
Do not place this product into any electronic equipment.
A toilet at a public sports facility
Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.
Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.
Container of Underarm Deodorant.
Caution: Do not spray in eyes.
Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter.
Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.
Toner cartridge for a laser printer
Do not eat toner.
13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow
Not intended for highway use.
Can of self-defense pepper spray.
May irritate eyes.
Novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock"
Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.
A frisbee
Warning: May contain small parts.
A toilet bowl cleaning brush.
Do not use orally.
A birthday card for a 1 year old.
Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.
Heated seat cushion
Warning: Do not use on eyes.
Microwave Oven:
Do not use for drying pets.
Electric Cattle Prod
For use on animals only.
Can of air freshener.
For use by trained personnel only.
Silly Putty
Do not use as ear plugs.
Knife sharpening stone
Warning: knives are sharp!
Deodorant
Do not use intimately.
Rat Poison
Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.
Portable stroller
Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.
Dashboard of a mail truck
Look before driving.
Children's cough medicine
Do not drive car or operate machinery.
Sign at a railroad station
Beware! To touch these wires is instant death.
Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.
Bottom of a supermarket dessert box
Do not turn upside down.
Package of dice.
Not for human consumption.
Bottled Drink:
Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.
Shipment of hammers
May be harmful if swallowed.
Manual for an SGI computer.
Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.
Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle
Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.
Electric Thermometer.
Do not use orally after using rectally.
Packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.
Turn off motor before using this product.
6x10 inch inflatable picture frame
Not to be used as a personal flotation device.
Box of bottle rockets
Do not put in mouth.
Wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack
Remove plastic before eating.
Box for a car jack
For lifting purposes only.
Instructions for a cordless phone:
Do not put lit candles on phone.
Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean
Do not drive cars in ocean.
Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing"
at a concert
Always drive on roads. Not on people.
Bus Stop
No stopping or standing.
Church Sign
These rows reserved for parents with children.
Bag of Fritos
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
Credit card statement.
Payment is due by the due date.
Laundromat triple washer
No small children.
Sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building
Take care: new non-slip surface.
Box of Pills
Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone.
Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11
Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.
Can of black pepper.
Instructions: usage known.
Bag of cat biscuits
Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants.
Car Manual
In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then
close doors.
